The past few decades have seen unprecedented developments in visibility for LGBT communities. One of the benefits of greater visibility is that voices previously silenced can more often be heard. Stories of transgender experience are among those who have emerged; memoirs of gender transition are even a growing subgenre of biography. But for those who have not personally experienced much dissonance in their gendered experience, the idea of transitioning or even simply transgressing gender norms in any way can seem unfathomable. Here are four thoughtful narratives that help examine experiences of crossing gender boundaries from different perspectives.

Stuck in the Middle With You by Jennifer Finney Boylan

Jennifer Finney Boylan transitioned from James to Jennifer as an adult; her bestselling memoir She’s Not There: A Life in Two Genders told the story of her transition. In Stuck in the Middle with You, Boylan focuses the narrative on her experiences of parenting, both before and after her transition. She examines perceptions of both fatherhood and motherhood with a critical eye, interviewing others, including Edward Albee, Ann Beattie, Augusten Burroughs, and Susan Minot to get multiple perspectives on how gender can affect the experience of raising a child.

Boylan’s thoughtful examination of her own experiences both as a father and as a mother is evidence of the great care she takes with her parenting and how much she wants the challenges she has faced to have some use and benefit for her sons. Boylan has been married to and parenting with the same woman for decades. In an afterward, they discuss some of the challenges they have faced as a couple, and how these challenges have become lessons in acceptance and love for their family. "It is my hope," Boylan writes, "that having a father who became a woman in turn helped my sons become better men."

My Brother, My Sister by Molly Haskell

Experiences of gender transition don’t only affect parents and children; these changes can resonate throughout a family at any point in life. In My Brother, My Sister the well known film critic Molly Haskell relates her experience of her sibling’s transition from John Cheves to Ellen Clark Hampton, when both women are in their sixties. Haskell, who is publically known as a liberal critic, is shocked to learn that Ellen was struggling with a male body even as a child, picking at skin on her fingers to "remove the male skin," and secretly dressing in Haskell’s clothes in grade school.

In an adult male body, Ellen’s gender dysphoria resulted in eating disorders and other health problems. Haskell is open about her missteps in responding to her sister’s transition, revealing many times when her own confusion and anger got in the way of listening to her sister. But her bond with her sister is strong, and grows stronger as Haskell learns about Ellen’s painful personal experience of gender dysphoria, delves into medical, psychological and social research on the subject and generally comes to understand that her personal assumptions about gendered experience were just that -- personal and not universal, even for those closest to her in the world.

Transparent: Love, Family and Living the T with Transgender Teenagers by Cris Beam

Cris Beam didn’t have any personal experience with transgender identity when she began volunteering at a school for gay and transgender teenagers. But week by week, she got to know the kids and became involved in the lives of four girls in various stages of transition from male to female. As Christina, Dominique, Foxxjazell and Ariel bring Cris into their lives we see that in many ways, their experiences are no different than those of other teenage girls. They work through drama with friends and dish about crushes, spend time on makeup tutorials and worry about how their bodies are changing.

But the fact that they are transgender means that simply living that teen girl life brings them harsh rejection from family and peers, resulting in homelessness, violence, and medical crises that arise when they try to transition without proper medical care. Beam listens to the girls, and rightfully acknowledges them as the authorities on their own experiences of transitioning. Beam’s sensitive responses to the girls’ concerns and her ability to weave in research and statistics make this book both a lovely story of her personal relationship with these girls and a window into a wider world of transgender experiences. To that end, the book includes a bibliography for further reading.

Raising My Rainbow by Lori Duron

Raising My Rainbow is not about someone going through a gender transition. Instead, it is an illumination of gender variance. Lori Duron writes about life with her son C.J. who is, in his own words, "a boy who likes girl stuff and wants to be treated like a girl." Duron and her husband respect that their child is gender non conforming, and give him plenty of room for traditionally "girly" pursuits like wearing clip on earring and nail polish, and playing Barbies with his girl friends. Duron admits to her own journey of understanding, initially fearful and tense about C.J.’s affinity for "girl stuff," but later relaxed and truly happy when she saw her son bloom into a happy child who was truly creative in his gendered play.

It all gives the reader pause to think about the rigorous enforcement of gender norms with children at such a young age. Why exactly should it make a mother’s heart pound in fear to see her son pick up a doll? Why do toy store aisles have to be split into pink and blue? Duron’s family has examined those assumptions and rejected them, instead finding a way forward that nurtures who C.J. actually is and resists limiting who he feels he can become.